UbU

You told everyone you were fine

Catch it before it catches you.

Between something happening and you reacting there is half a second. Short, free guides for anyone carrying more than they say: after redundancy, with the kids, or with the person you love. From someone who learned it the hard way.

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Read the first chapters.

The full Introduction and Chapter One, in a PDF. Leave your mobile number and I’ll unlock it.

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Which moment is yours?

Tap the one that sounds most like this week. Nothing is saved or sent.

Or start at a door.

Redundancy is where it starts. Parenting and relationships are where it shows up at home.

Made redundant

I lost my job

“My title had been holding up my sense of who I was.”

Try one thing today. Finish this sentence without your job title: I am…

Tick what’s true

Parenting

I snap at the kids

“Anger is a feeling, Daddy. It’s not you.”

Try one thing today. Tonight, tell them one true thing: “I was angry earlier and I got it wrong.”

Start with one sentence

Relationships

My relationship feels like a scoreboard

“I was building a case.”

Try one thing today. Read your last three messages to your partner. Report, or case?

Report, or case? Find out

Not sure which one is you? Try the one-minute pause →

UbU: Untitled by Unknown by Arun Kumar. Book cover: a man walks toward a lit doorway in a cracked stone face.

The book

When you lose your title, this is the map.

A memoir, told in the order it happened. Short chapters. Paperback £14.99. Ebook £7.99.

In India? Buy the India paperback, ₹699 (print on demand, ships within India. The ebook is the same worldwide.)

Arun Kumar, author of UbU

About Arun

Seventeen years in MedTech. Then the title went.

I spent seventeen years in medical devices building a life that made complete sense on paper. When the title disappeared and the inbox went quiet, I looked for the book that described how that felt from the inside. I couldn’t find it, so I wrote it.

Author. Founder of Lumenara. Lives in Solihull with his wife and daughters.

Media

Arun in the media.

Conversations about redundancy, identity and who you are when the title goes.

Mid-Life Men podcast cover

Podcast · 29 October 2026

Why Does Redundancy Feel Like Failure?

A frank conversation on the Mid-life Men podcast, hosted by Philip Briscoe. Arun talks about hiding the shame after redundancy, the tension it brought home, and how a lost salary turned into a lost sense of worth.

Questions people actually ask

Is it normal to feel worthless after redundancy?

It was for me. My title had been holding up my sense of who I was, and when it went I cried in front of two men I barely knew. Feeling worthless isn’t the truth about you. It’s what it feels like when the thing you leaned on is taken away.

Why can’t I tell anyone how bad it is?

Because we’ve spent years being the one who holds things together, and saying it out loud feels like admitting the job was all there was. I told one person, my wife, from the car park. Her steadiness was enough to start with. One person is enough.

Why do I keep applying for jobs and feel nothing?

When I got the news, my mind went straight into fixing. I had the outline of a negotiation strategy before I got home. Applying can be more of the same: it keeps you moving so you don’t have to feel it. Take one day to fix nothing, then look at what you are actually applying for.

Why am I angry at my partner since I lost my job?

I did this too. I messaged my wife every day about what I was carrying and told myself I was keeping her informed. I was building a case. When the pressure has nowhere to go, home is the closest place. Before you reply to her next time, take one breath and ask what is underneath this.

Why do I snap at my kids when it isn’t really about them?

It is almost never about the small thing. It is the small thing landing on top of everything you were already holding. A feeling I filed away one week came back the next Sunday. Look at their face before you reply, and if you get it wrong, say so out loud. My daughter, three at the time, told me: anger is a feeling, Daddy. It’s not you.

Who am I without my job title?

That is the question the book is about, and I can’t answer it for you. What I can give you is the map I used: Observe, Name it, Thank it, Return. Start by finishing one sentence without your title: I am…